Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha
How many gifts are we be blessed with in our sobriety? One of the many I enjoy is finding little gems of insight as I trudge the road to happy destiny. They are right in the middle of the road I am traveling. I never saw these things before. I was to busy, to distracted, to drunk, to depressed….
When I was drinking I did not find gems. Instead I found the crap that lined the ditch. After veering off my path and ending up there I would get up, brush myself off, and discover turds sticking to me.
Go out for a drink to the bar? End up arrested for drunk driving 10 hours later.
Afraid to face a situation I need to deal with? Go get drunk, end up not taking care of business; lose respect, friends, etc.
You know the deal. There was a never ending supply of “surprises” in store for me as I kept off the straight and narrow. And then there is today. The here and now. It has been a long time since I have ended up in a jackpot. Instead I get to experience many good and positive things.
The other day I spoke to a friend that is having to take care of his ailing mother. His mother’s newly diagnosed cancer is well developed. Her lack of going for tests she should have gotten could have made her current prognosis much better. Through all of what is going on, one of the lessons my friend has taken from this situation is that maybe he should be a little more proactive about his own health. He says he realizes that taking care of himself is more important than ever. My friend is happily married and he has a grandchild that he adores. He figures that giving himself the best chance he can to stay healthy will allow him the greatest opportunity to both enjoy his life and to let those who love him have him in their lives as long as possible.
These are things coming from a man I once new as someone who could not stand to use or not to use. His anger was landing him in jail, keeping him from having any kind of loving relationship, and causing him endless grief. He has worked hard at his sobriety for a long time. It was amazing to hear about the fruit of his labor – he has loving people around him and is thinking from the mindset of a loving person. He is quite broken up about his mother’s condition but is walking through the situation with love, compassion, and dignity. The emotions he feels and is trying to deal with are not deterring him from being there to care, as best he can, for his Mom. I am amazed by his strength and the example of caring he presents.
Why did I get to see and experience this person’s transformation and how powerful we can be in practicing love? I think one important element was my showing up at meetings regularly – staying in the middle of my path. In doing this I was there when this fellow was looking for a sponsor. I gave him an opportunity to invite me into his life.
Another gem along the road. Another joy in my life.