I got word this evening that a decision will be made, as soon as Monday, about hiring someone for a job I want to have. This position is something I have been waiting to hear about for a long time. I also know I am in the running for getting the job.
I have been praying about my work situation a lot. Asking to be shown what my direction should be and the courage to walk on the path I am shown is the right one. I do have enough sense to not pray to get this job. At least that is what I have come to learn about prayer, careful how you go about things and what you ask for.
So I will wait. Try not to get to anxious. Abide by the decision the best way I can.
Whatever happens my life is about to change in a macro way soon. This job or another – something has to give soon.
There is a fairly lovable gal (lets call her Nancy) in my home group that is pretty nutty. Everyone thinks she is a hoot because she says a lot of really funny things. There are also occasional bits of insight. So the other day, Nancy is going off and she says
I never heard someone say that they really worried a lot about something and that it ended up making all the difference in the world
My experience has taught me that I need to stay out of my own way. When I have had faith and relied on guidance from my higher power, I end up getting led to great places that I would not have chosen on my own. It seems so illogical. I try to make my way through the day and my life, making plans and hatching up schemes. In the end, it is the unexpected things in my path, the things I could not imagine, that have made the biggest difference.
All this tells me that my thinking and planning is not as important as I like to think. It can be helpful but in the end I there is just so much that is out of my control that has such a large influence. Sober, these things tend to be good. They are not jackpots but bounty of God’s grace.
So I do realize I don’t need to worry. Yet I still do. And it does not amount to a hill of beans, other than to set me into fear and waste my time.