I have a hard time doing things sometimes. I just need to do the best I can, call it good and move on. This morning I had to write a few emails. Instead of say, about 20 minutes and done, it took over an hour. Even an hour I feel happy with actually. That is an improvement over some of the stuff I can get going on with writing a simple letter. Perfectionism (it has to be right), self-esteem (if it is not just right, someone will think I am a dolt) and fear of commitment are all a part of this. Another funny aspect of this is that these two letters, and this is as often the case as not, are for good things. One is a talk I have to give this summer and the other was to report on some volunteer work I did for someone.
I think I need to pay more attention to this problem of mine. Prayer, asking God to remove those aforementioned character defects, and asking for clarity to know my path is the right one, will do wonders. I like that I already feel better about this in just writing this out.
I spoke to my sponsor a few days ago. It was good to talk to him and to hear his good practical advice. Get my ass to more meetings. Take some time to get together with him. Two important things I really do need to do. We talked about many other things too. My sponsee, for one. This guy is not wanting to work the steps but for now, well I have nothing else going on in terms of working with anyone. So there is no reason for me to not fill the role of sponsor for him for now. As long as I am talking to him regularly I can also keep reminding him that the goal is to work the twelve steps.
That is about it for now. Time to get to work.
All the best and God Bless,