Yes this is a follow up on yesterday’s post but it is also a way to frame the results of my meeting my sponsee today. We both agree he is good at pushing away things that might be helpful. In this case he has a real reluctance to meet with me regularly. Since this is something I explained to him from the start is what I need to have happen, it is a problem. My being his sponsor is contingent on my being able to meet up with him. He was free from the start to say no, this was not something he wants.
I must say I was happy to say he did agree to meet with me again next week. Of his own volition he also offered up that not showing up then would be a clear statement on his part. His absence would demonstrate he was not willing to committ to our working together in a way that I felt had to happen.
I really hope he shows up. I want to help him and meeting with someone is the way I have found works best for me. I simply cannot effectively sponsor someone without regular face to face contact. Just one of the many, many limitations I have come to understand about myself since I have become sober.
I do believe that people can have a sponsor-sponsee relationship without regular meetings too, so this is not a case of my way is the only way this can work for everyone. I have also learned in sobriety that there are very few absolutes.
This is a jumbled post but there you have it.
All the best in your sobriety,
AA blogger
Sponsor/Sponsee stuff can be tough. I have two right now, and both are on their fourth step. One is working through it steadily, the other is balking all over the place. Hang in there, and thanks for writing!
Zach W.
Thanks for the encouragement Zach, and the thanks about my posting. I do know that it is a good thing for me to try to help others and that I usually have little control over the results. I try to try my best, and also try to not get to worried about it all.
On the other hand…I so want anybody I sponsor to do well and stay sober!