Over and over

My sobriety seems to be dependant on me doing simple things over, and over, and over again. Sometimes this might mean every day, or it might mean on a regular basis, or it could even be that over the years I have had to consistently fall back on the same set of crutches when the going gets tough.

Why?

I think it is because I am human. Part of the human condition is that I am what I think about and what I do on a regular basis. Giving my life over to the care of God as I understand him, for instance. When I do that regularly I seem to feel better, in the same way it does for others. When I go to meetings I often discover that I am usually doing much better than I like to give myself credit for. If I go often enough I can have that realization that I am fine be a larger part of my day. When I read the 11th step prayer I have taped to my bathroom mirror, I am less inclined to be a self centered butt-head as I make my way in the world during any given day.

It is clear too that the steps and our literature makes this point about having to do things again and again. Practicing these principles in all our affairs, not resting on our laurels, and many other such references. It is funny to me now that there are times when I get rather miserable and even realize it is the direct result of forgetting to do simple little things on a consistent basis….as if I don’t know better! Fortunately I have also been taught that I will not be able to raise myself above the level of being human. I am stuck with me and my human condition, at least until my time here in this form is ended.

One nice thing that has resulted from my being careful about doing the work I do, and then at times forgetting, is that my bad days are actually pretty nice. Compared to that old sot I was many years ago, I can manage to get irritated with my own bad behavior fairly quickly these days. This often gives me a dose of humility, can show me I have a lot more to be grateful about than I have been realizing, and can then start to do things to have my perspective move in a more positive direction. A simple prayer, trying to help or do something nice for someone else, go to a meeting, call someone and tell them they are loved.

Simple things. Over and over.

Wishing you all the best in sobriety,
AA Blogger

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