Ok is Great

It has been a good last week or so. Last Friday I met with my boss and learned that my position will be extended for another year. This is not a big surprise but it is a relief. Just that fact that I had to find out if all was well for keeping my term position for another year was enough to occasion some fear. Not freaking out, bugged eyed fear but certainly a tinge of doubt. That being behind me is a relief.

Another thing that has been resolved is some health stuff. Mainly I had to go to three different doctors for three different problems. All of these things were necessary things to get checked and I had been procrastinating in setting all this in motion. Talking with my wife and my sponsor about this over the last month or so really helped. I made my appointments, took the tests I was told to take and now can move forward. No real surprises, other than my one new ailment is less troublesome than I thought. No knee surgery, just some physical therapy. Funny that I have this pattern of behavior all my life – if I do A it may lead to B, and I don’t want B so I avoid A. Doing A, eventually, leads to C and I learn that B was just not part of the picture. Then realizing I should have just done A a lot sooner. At least being sober has improved my angst about many things and my stalling, which of course is all about fear and doubt, is nothing like it used to be. The old me was paralyzed, in some ways steered around by, and just plain had a life rife with a constantly juggling agenda of keeping myself busy in order to avoid other things.

Now I have to follow up with what comes next from my health assessments. Physical therapy, a possible outpatient half day run through the hospital, and who knows what else. I do at least feel willing to move forward.

Another good thing that has happened over the course of the last week has been some better stick-to-itness on my part. I need to work hard at adhering to what my brain wants to believe is a strange schedule. Get up at 4 during the week, try to catch the 4:48 bus, and stay at work until around 3 PM. Then time to get home as the wife and I are trying to get a little better dinner routing down. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I am also slating to be morning meeting days. So I get up from my desk at work at 7:15 on those days, walk the ten minutes to the serious and great mens’ meeting, then walk back to work. I stuck to my schedule pretty well last week and am doing the same this week. One of the big reasons I want to do this is because the whole framework works for me, and my family, on many levels. Yet neither my wife nor I are inclined or really get pushed to adhere to a schedule. I really do not have to be in work at any time, and most days it does not even matter if I showed up in my office or not. Getting the work done is important, not my being there per say. Even so, it is difficult for me to work at home these days because it is too tempting to start doing things that have nothing to do with work if I am home. It is also way better for me to get out of the house in the morning before anyone else is even thinking of stirring.

None of this is anything spectacular but it is all, collectively, really nice. I feel like I am on a bit of a roll. Steady and even, nicely serene and overall feeling pretty good. I will be sure not to get used to it…….since things are sure to get even better.

Stay sober and be well,

AA Blogger