I took the bus today and had strong emotional reactions to two things that happened during my trip.
A young girl got on the bus with a few of her friends. She had headphones on and was singing along with what must have been her ipod. She was not signing loudly and had a pleasant voice. When I hear a women singing softly like this it can fill me with a strong sense of peace.
I learned about this reaction of mine years ago when I was working in the mountains. I had one person that worked with me. We would sometimes have to drive for hours to get to a logging site where we would do our survey work. We could pick up one radio station and it played country music. This gal loved country music and would sing along with about half of the songs that came on. She often felt a little self conscious about it and would say she was sorry she was always singing like that. I simply told her it was not a problem and that it did not bother me at all. In reality I would love it when she sang! And I swear it was not any kind of sexual thing, or attraction, or anything like that. It was just very, very soothing.
I clearly remember those experiences, and my reactions, riding in the mountains even though it was years ago.
It had been a long time since I had that kind of sense about me – feeling like I did riding around in the mountains listening to Nancy sing – until I was on the bus today. It was wonderful.
It made me wonder if I had a deep memory about this from my mother singing to me when I was a child. There is something there but it is like a fleeting ghost when I try to pin it down. I will have to ask my Mom about this the next time I talk to her.
The other thing I observed today was two guys getting on the bus, one in a wheelchair, and how nice the bus driver was in helping him get situated. Now the buses where I live require the driver to have to go through all kinds of things to help handicapped riders. Put down a ramp, put up some seats and strap the wheelchair down.
There is no requirement that I know of that they have to do this with kindness. I watched him going about his business and I was touched by the care he took in helping that man.
All in all, it was a nice ride to where I needed to go.
I guess I was feeling kind of good today.
Wishing you all the best in sobriety,
AA Blogger